Stuck. between a rock, pointy thing and a hard place.

Well. it certainly pours when it rains...although, in my case it seems to be pouring all the time. I am so glad that August has ended finally and a new month has started - I hope this month is better than its predecessor.

I've become unemployed - and broke a personal record and was "let go" from 2 jobs in a single month! I can't barely count the times I've ever actually been let go, let alone twice in a month and that was certainly a shocker. The first was a corporate gig and I honestly think this poor man made a bad hiring mistake. I was his first helping hand to be hired - and he wanted me to overrule the 3 offices he had - more of a vice president than the "office manager/receptionist" position he had listed. I didn't have any of the required licensing or field experience as a broker and I think he thought that can be compensated via schooling - but really, experience can't be bought as we know - so we parted rather amicably even though this screwed up all of my plans.  Luckily, I got a part-time gig in a tiny gift shop I've been frequenting and then was promptly removed after training due to politics and some undue jealousy issues.... One I managed to befriend said I was overqualified and many of the staff felt that I would be the natural successor to management position ,which everyone was sort of hoping to get but not with me there. *boo*

I was told once that you should not hit to ground running in every job you do because if you outshine them all from the start they will turn and kick you out - you need to be smart about it - I'm clearly not a bright person when it comes to this sort of thing.... :(

My ego and esteem took a pretty hard hit and now I am, defeated.  I have made enough lemonades with the buckets of lemons poured onto me to last me several life times.
I wonder if I would have been better off to have stayed at a job that made me feel most unwanted but gave me a steady income than risk it all for something that seemed better.

I have spent so much time making everyone else rich for a small cut of the profit and while I wish I had my own, I am too much of a chicken to start anything of my own,  and I haven't a clue what I would do....and how would I fund myself during those first years?

 I just want to do what many take for granted; have a steady income and finally start a family with someone that loves me....and the opportunity has finally come knocking but I am not able to take it...

Why?

Because while I managed to find someone that loves me he's not in the same country and has hellova complicated history.  Communication is a barrier we can probably overcome with time but seeing that we're not even in the same country, living together and trying things out first isn't even an option....
I have good mind to pack it up and live there for a little while but what would I do to survive?  I have nothing but debt holding me here but it is enough to lock me down here...
Maybe that's an excuse? maybe I am just to selfish and scared to give up what little I have here, go there for a few months to try it out only to find that it doesn't work  than have to come back and try to restart myself from nothing again. I HATE RESTARTING , that is all I seem to have been doing.
I wish I had an answer....or someone to soundboard this off of...:(

Narrowing it down, down... down to...3 things? 4 things??

My life is a whirlwind...I had written a draft update months ago and it has yet made it to public...and since then so many things has changed but I shall divide topics accordingly and keep y'all updated :)

This year my goal was try to find some solid answers to many questions, in particular what do I enjoy doing - for work and for fun. I've always done what I had to workwise and not much thought was put into it. In the recent days, I've been able to find some answers and hopefully I'll be able to share that in the future.

Creatively - this was an easier answer in someways as I can try out whatever I wanted without reservation, providing that $$ was there to fund the curiosity...but then I ended up with many MANY  interests and nooo room left in my tiny apt OR time to pursue any of them with any degree of seriousness.
Recently I have managed to narrow it down to a few - which is STILL a lot more than I want but better than endless list of things I like. I would have to send a GIANT THANK YOU  to the people of Youtube who shared their passion on line and inspired my juices to flow, organize itself and finally, come into focus....as bookbinding. I don't know if that's what IT IS really but let's call it that for now.

I love books - or maybe its paper? I had kept a journal since I was a little girl and had mountains of books that kept me company when the world forgot my existence. I've kept a large library of books for a long time but I was soon running out of space - books, journals, coloring books  - they took up more space than I did,  and was a source of pain when moving. I traded most of my collection for a digital version of them.  One thing I couldn't trade was the heap of pages from magazines, packaging and other "junk" that I'd kept because I LIKED something about it. This collection also included mountains of  the one-sided printed pages from work that I had diligently brought home because, recycling system was questionable at work and I KNEW something could be done with it. This pile grew into exponential proportions and soon took over my shelf.

After much ponder I invested in a Cinch to alleviate this issue; at least, with the one-side print outs. I made piles of  scratch-notebooks and  gave one to everyone who helped create the pile of pages at work (they loved it, thank goodness). I also use it for brain dumping and writing notes, lists etc. which seems to have a therapeutic effect to my life.

Sometime in 2013 I bumped into the super inspiring Jenniebellie who helped me justify my hoarding of the other "junk" but I didn't think much of it because I didn't really have that many greeting cards and I was certainly NOT going to buy more STUFF to add to the pile! somewhere along the line I discovered how to bind your own books - I made a few signatures from piles of Copic catalogs and started to try my hand in art journaling after being inspired by Vicky...and I found that I really enjoyed making journals!!

This grew into a full blow out project and I started to dig into my stashes of paper to make my own little books for journaling (I was going to be set for the rest of my life in journal supplies! -well at least I thought I was) and helped me reduce my bookshelf full of paper to manageable 3 little boxes of papers.  As the journals I've made have also found new homes, I don't even have any on the shelf, which is even BETTER!  This year, I discovered the planner community and the Documented Life Project, where I learned even MORE ways to use journals(which meant I could just keep making'em!!) and keep a memory of my life somehow and not feel as if time was simply wasted.
So ...I guess planners? books? bookbinding? I dunno that whole BOOK area is awesome.
Here is a little video flip of Book of 2014 holding all the "creative" things  I made in 2014:

I even made a travel journal for my FIRST out of country vacay this year to Costa Rica:

...wow.... I sound really weird on video - sorry about the shakiness and bad lighting :( they're my first few videos, I'll get better  XD

The second great love came about in Nov 2014 when I discovered crochet. My friend lent a helping hand in reading the pattern and then I WAS DONE. I was crocheting little amigurumi from dawn to dusk for friends and I could not wait to get my hands on more colorful yarn. I even sold some which was GREAT help in getting my hands on some more yarn  and continue this obsession LOL.

Anyway, I think that is about it in terms of crafting update. Its so nice to finally be able to answer the question "what sort of crafts do you do" with a paragraph long answer vs. an essay answer :D hopefully I can get that narrowed down even further but we'll see.

Take care,
Love Always,
Shines.

HELLOOOO 2015

OKAY.
So clearly I fell off the blogging bandwagon once again (it seems to be an annual event at this point) except this time, I don't feel so bad because this time it wasn't life that caught up to me and drove me up the wall (although that's still ongoing) but it was creative adventures. At last, the year started on a creative note.
The many adventures I've been involved in include the world of Documented Life Project, Amigurumi, scrap bookbinding and return to coloring; soon, I am going to explore the world of need felting. Everything I have been interested in but "never had time for" - This year is the year I will try them out ! So far, the journey has been more than fulfilling and supremely addictive.  Here is a "brief" summary of how I got to this beautiful mess.

ONCE, when I was 8 my mama (also a DIY fanatic) introduced me to the calm world of knitting. I made a scarf and that was the end of that. I make scarves annually because I just can't find scarf I like enough to buy (super picky) and knitting truly is a slow and calming activity. Unfortunately, knitting wasn't my calling. I enjoyed things that are...less functional, cute and pretty things really... which made me feel bad...then I saw this meme which made it alll better; happiness and sense of accomplishment provides priceless intrinsic rewards!

ANYWAY.
I went to my first "Stitch & Bitch" session with a friend who LOVED knitting, hoping that it would kindle a spark. I was looking for a pattern to knit until I came across this cat cave crochet pattern which looked simple enough and I randomly had a crochet hook lying around.  Unfortunately at this time neither of my cats understood the concept of cat cave ,so it ended up being a cushion after days of trying to coaxed them to love the cave. They love the cushions though!

 This sent me whirling into the world of crochet, in particular, amigurumi (which means small handmade toy in Japanese, I think). There are tons of generous and talented souls out there that share the pattern they made. One of my favourites Stephanie of Amigurumei , who makes the easiest patterns for the cutest things! This thoughtful woman has even made a Patterns page on her blog for easy access.  This new hobby turned into an obsession really, and I was a serial hooker for a while there - eat, work, crochet was a daily thing until recently - now I sleep sometimes XD
You can see all the stuff I have made so far on my Amigurumi album on my FB page, if you're curious.

The bookbinding thing isn't new. I always enjoyed upcycling scrap paper. My entire art journal last year was made from upcycled Copic Market catalogs. I work at a place where printing is mandatory and scrap pages are available by the mountains. Being a hoard, I kept a lot of scraps but I simply couldn't use them up quick enough and my little apt was getting crammed up with all sorts of junk I had saved (Youtube is REALLY a great place if you want reasons to start hoarding).  After much hmming and haaaing, I bought myself a Cinch bookbinding tool - which turned out the be an excellent investment.  Instead of spending hours hand-stitching and gluing , which left little energy and motivation to actually do the fun bits like decorating, I spent minutes binding the book and hours playing and altering cardboard covers. So far I have made and given away 4 books which are all being used on daily basis. Having less in my hoarder box is good; knowing that the books are appreciated, loved and used daily is awesome; feeling that art/crafting didn't create more garbage is AMAZING. I don't get to make them often (because they're super fat books and takes a while to use them) but I certainly have a whole pile of 'em made for the next person who wants one. You can see what it looks like here.

The Documented Life Project is something I discovered last year. I fell in love with the idea of Documented Life Project 2015 page.

having a sketbook/planner/journal all in one place (deep inside, I am a minimalist. or multifunctionalist- I like things that can serve more than one purpose). In fact, my planner was already a mix of 3 but this gave it structure that it needed. I was bent on taking part this year and although the idea has migrated to more of Art Journaling, I am having a great time playing along. It really forces you to be creative and to play, at least once a week. This project has put my art journalling to a pause but I feel like it will only enhance my love for art journals.  So far, with the exception of ONE challenge (which I will fulfill soon when I have some under paper made) I have been following along. What is most exciting is that I can already SEE myself breaking out in baby steps from the way I have been journaling and actually having FUN.  In a strange way, the weekly challenges really aligned to the experiences I was going through during the week , which makes this even more remarkable journey to embark on! To see the pages of the week you can check out my

At around the same time, I had  become super interested in Wreck This Journal project - which from day 1 proved that I was not as "free flowing" as I was hoping I was. Unfortunate this project will have to hold for a bit as I've piled a ton on my plate already. LOL

Lastly, I have returned to coloring.

I can draw - and I enjoy being able to draw; but, I have always loved coloring and if I could, I would sweet piece of work for Valentines day. I printed it, stuck it on my planner and colored it using my trusty Crayola markers. TOO FUN.   Of COURSE I had to go and buy one of those books I've been pondering on. I debated but in the end the Secret Garden is what I chose - mostly because there are pages filled with doodly flowers I just can't do without. So far, I'm working on a nice little fishy page - I'm getting lost in the details but I LOVE IT.
make a living from it. Its another meditative therapy (apparently I need a lot of therapy these days) that I couldn't get a start on for whatever reason (mostly because I was busy crocheting).  Then, the amazing Johanna Basford who inked "Secret Garden" and "Enchanted Forest" for the kid in us, released this
I forgot how awesome it was to  PAINT SOMETHING.
This book is going to last me YEARS at the rate I'm coloring them which makes it SO WORTH IT! It also put all other coloring projects on hold but OOOH well, it's not going anywhere anyways. lol

Trust in magic....

It's been a wild little week~ I really wasn't sure that I would find the time to make a post at all but somehow I managed to find the time in the week to make a few spreads.

The week started with me getting a 2nd cat.
I originally had two cats but one had passed away and the other was left alone. The one that's left, Mamba (whom I named after the black jaguar from The JungleBook only to find out that it was not the name), always had a friend as long as he's been breathing so I thought it was finally time to get him another buddy.

I came by a cat who had just been rescued and was lovable and cuddly as can be; in my mind, they started snuggling immediately and life was rosy. So I was rather distraught to see that my cat was not at all happy to see the new cat; in fact, he made noises I didn't know he could make. I lost so many hours of sleep that my cuddly princeling was being a jackdonkey.
After a few days though , they've exchanged sniffles and the hissing subsided a little and I was finally able to get uninterrupted sleep.

Had a busy weekend with a couple of girl friends - which is a pleasant surprise - since I can't seem to keep good girl friends around :D my little hopes of having girls night out was...possibly on the horizon.

I even went on a date with a couple of guys and found one with possibilities....

So much is happening rather fast and while I've committed myself to being okay with not having control over everything that's happening, this was just hard to wrap my head around.

This was a super easy and super quick spread. I already had some blotches of ink sprays on the page -I gessoed over that. I have some fantastic acrylic paint from the dollar store - you know the kind that comes in tiny containers with all sorts of colors? It's for kids yes, and the paint is not very pigmented - which is horrible for anything else but for soft backgrounds like this. They are so diluted that blending them is super easy.   The main art work is by Karina Skalin - I really enjoy her big hairs and mythical settings. I had colored this one in Photoshop once upon a time and  thought it a perfect piece for something (its been sitting on my desk for a while) - slightly modified but I mean the artwork is gorgeous. There IS a link to the artwork on my digital version.

I really like the flow of the letters....it was just a great piece to put together <3  It felt great to pick up a pencil crayon too - I think I'll do some more of that.

I hope you liked,

Love Always,

Shines.

Your don't deserve me.

This woman is one of my favourite celebrities... Shes' talented , stunning and smart.

I think we are all beautiful, smart and talented in our own ways -but we often forget and let people treat us whichever way they please. We often remain in a relationship because we are afraid to find nothing out there and end up alone.  We often don't speak up because we don't want to seem "out of line."

A quick reminder that,  those who love us will love us for every part of us - the crazy, funny, emotional and weird- and those who can't handle that - don't deserve our love, affection and time.

hope you liked,

Love Always,
Shines.

What a weekend!

Never mind, what a week!
It started with me flying off my bicycle on my way to work  -same route I've been using everyday - I got caught between streetcar tracks and by the time I realized what was happening, I was already on the ground.  Thankfully I got away with some serious bruisings and one wonky wrist and nothing was broken.
Over the weekend - my friends and I decided to take a short trip for a nice picnic and light hiking - which turned into some serious hiking and climbing down rocks to get to the bottom of a water fall. The next day I biked across town with an avid cyclist and I can't believe I made it alive.

These things made me realize what I was taking for granted - good working limbs and general good health and luck - that I avoided some serious set backs. Thank myself for always keeping active in case I have to climb down rocks at least few feet to get to the bottom of a refreshing waterfall.
It reminded me that I had good friends that I could have fun with - and good company makes all the difference in the world. Life was not still going the sour route, as the days like to let us think that it is.
I just needed to be more patient with myself, as I am with so many others.

I really wanted to write some of this down and I was so glad that I had started a Book of days where some journaling can be incorporated.
This page in particular, I am super happy with.
I did some collaging, some doodling and journaling - all three things I always  want to incorporate in a spread. I love the colors and the imagery- I really felt like I was springly and limber - and that I could do anything with the people I was with. I appreciated being alive and well enough mind and body, that I could enjoy such moments.

I hope more of these moments happen....

Hope you liked,

Love always,
Shines

Good things happen....

It feels like forever and a third since I've done anything in my art journals and nothing feels more creative to me then smashing some junk, paint and making something nice to look at.
I have a few projects in mind as you may know if you've been reading my previous ramblings - but I had to put them aside for a second (which is really hard for me to do because I'm very much about finishing what I started before moving onto new projects -but I'm getting better) and let some creative juice OUT.

Unlike most other times I had an idea of what I wanted to incorporate - I wanted to colour someone's lineart and incorporate it somehow. Drawing is not my strongest suite but I have a GREAT collection of line art by others who generously share their talents on my Pinterest page and in my DeviantArt folder (I have hoarding issues but that's another story)....another element that I wanted to have FOR SURE was some doodling. I really miss marking random shapes on paper that look good together.

I had a quote in mind but I didn't know what image I wanted to use; I wanted to use an empowering image JadeDragonne called Vail for this quote:

for this quote as it's something I strongly believe in even though life has tried to prove otherwise to me.  I chose this lineart by

Good things come to those who wait... or those willing to get up and get shit done!

For a long time, I was part of the group believing that good things come to those who wait and while I waited nothing happened but good things were happening to those getting out there and trying something.  So went and tried a few things and while it got me somewhere it didn't get me anywhere quick.  

It finally dawned on my infinite wisdom that, maybe good things happen to those who are willing to put in some work-and have the patience to wait for that perfect opportunity.  You have to be in practice of willing to work otherwise the opportunity will pass to another who is; and if you are willing to work, even if the opportunity you wanted doesn't happen, another will knock and you have to be ready to work for it.   Everything, I tell you EVERYTHING is an excuse; time is something we can all manage, its a man-made concept and the will of a human being is stronger than anything. When and if you really wanted to do something, you will find time in all sorts of places to get it in your schedule. Just change in perspective and mindset.  All this really were in my head as a jumble but the doodling I got done made it into a communicatable sentence.

What you see in the picture BTW, is a tissue paper with this beautiful doodle that I've been hanging onto for quite some time now -it had fallen apart so I am glad it found itself a good home and it certainly kick started my doodling.


Life, God, Divine Force or The Universe - whatever it is that you believe in - truly works in mysterious ways.... in my case so many have passed by that I could have taken advantage of but I wasn't really willing to work and I was to scared to try.  I went through a hiatus where I was sick of what I was doing to make a living and jumped into something utterly different - and came up top - but that probably only happened because I was willing to try something and put forth an effort.  Still, there are some  things I did right and now that I am ready to finally put forth some effort, things are rolling along rather well * knock on wood*.

Hope you liked my bit of wisdom-sharing there, LOL

Love Always,

Shines.

Travelbook update with tiny haul from a stationary store.

This took so much longer than I thought it would to put together.
As you know my first book binding experience using thread wasn't very good - it's now being held together by tape that I had placed on the spines to prevent bleeding and by the layers over the tape. Either way it's being held together, so I am not complaining.

Originally, I had started working on some covers because I felt that there was a real possibly that I will be making a book with hard cover for the trip, and of course to house all my little booklets that's now lost a home :(  While I am still going to make a home for all my lovely booklets that were once signatures - I have also decided to make another booklet for the trip using the pages I glued together, rather than a book on its own. I think what I will end up is a large fat book that will house all my little booklets from year 2014.  I figured a cereal box would be perfect for this but I digress.

So here is what the little booklet for the Nova Scotia trip turned out to look like.
I threw in almost EVERYTHING I had collected while there like the paper gift bags and snack holder I got on flight and of course the plane tickets. I forgot to show it in the video but every other page is only glued around the edges so that it makes a pocket for all the post cards I got, where a bit of journaling can live. Then I threw in a couple of envelopes that came in the mail as well just in case.
This book was bound using Saddle Stitch tutorial from Sea Lemon ,who really does short and to the point tutorials.

This sounds kinda crazy but instead of covering up theses ads and bits that's exclusive to Nova Scotia, I am thinking of just leaving the background as it is - I guess its more of a smash journal then an art journal.  I'm waiting for my pictures to "develop" so hopefully next week I can get an AFTER video here for ya.

In other news, I bumped into this super adorable stationary store while grocery shopping in Koreatown called MR. PEN.









 It's fairly new, but it was buzzing with people looking and omg there is a whole TABLE dedicated to writing tools -pens, pencils, mechanical pens and pencils... my jaw reached the ground and rolled away from me like they would in a cartoon show!!!


while browsing , I realized they also sold little glass charms for your phones, which glow in the dark so you can find your phone anywhere!! I had received one as a gift and left it in Nova Scotia, which was sad because I didn't know where it came from, but now I can replace it!!!

Of course I had to get a few pens too - and because retail therapy is awesome, I decided to buy a few pens and charms for my coworkers who had made my stay at my new gig incredibly enjoyable,so much so that Iit doesn't feel like a job.  I love these pens - they're so cute and funny :D

That's all today.

Hope you like,

Love Always,
Shines.

Work it baby!

I have been a long time fan of the quote, "good things come to those who wait" and supported it using my life as an example. I must say it was a long wait and nothing particular amazing seem to happen; in fact, things seem to head to the extreme wrong direction of where I wanted to go...and my dream of making a living from being a creative person seem to drift further and further away from me.

Years after - I finally met someone whose life brought an interesting insight to this quote - that it's not about sitting and waiting for something good to happen to you (although, I will confess this seemed like the case for some people) - its being prepared in every way you can be prepared - so that when an opportunity presents itself you are ready to jump on it and take it for a wild ride.
Unfortunately he eventually got lost in his mind and wrapped up in little things....but that's another story.

The key difference is that you have to work for your dreams to make it happen - preparation, or practice is still work. It must be done before you can reach a level where you CAN make a living from it without spending all day to do it. More you practice, more realistic the dream becomes and the dream doesn't seem like a dream anymore but a very realistic goal.
And you get pumped and excited at the possibilities of achieving what you thought was, impossible.

Not having time to do it - is an excuse -reflection of fear- maybe because it may seem like a waste of precious time on fruitless endeavor.
Maybe it's true.
But you won't know until you try...and in retrospect you can only blame yourself for never trying.
TIME is something you control; believe me, you will ALWAYS find time for whatever you want to do.

I had forgotten about this bit - until now as I was starting to get caught up in life and not finding time to make even the smallest thing (like those mini pieces?) and go weeks without creating a single thing ; well, besides create a lot of stress for myself - and thought this was a good reminder specially because I KNOW it will happen again...just gotta keep on truckin'.

OH BTW.
IS THIS NOT SUCH AN AWESOME COPIC MARKER PAINTING OF PRINCESS LEAH?!
just sayin'.

Hope you like,

Love Always,

Shines.

Inverted art

I remember waaaaaaaaaaaaaay back when I was barely tall enough to reach the dining table, we did a project in class where you were allowed to what whatever colour wherever you wanted to on a piece of paper. Then you coloured the whole thing black ; then, when you drew on top with a pointed object, all these BURSTS of colours happened like MAGIC! I forget what the lesson of that exercise was....

It was probably the messiest project I ever made but it was the most fun and I was so sad when I ran out of space to draw more on but it was just too much work to make another page....

Anyhow.

This little spread reminds me of that project and is essentially the same idea. Its definitely not my idea - it's been circulating around the web and I thought what fun would it be to make a spread of that for a quote I try to live by!?  THAT WOULD BE AWESOME . 

So, without fail I found time somewhere and went scavenge hunting at the 4 dollar store near my home and came home with these: two cling alphabet stamps , one with sentiments ( I need to stop buying alphabet anything),  a pack of 4 sheets of foam alphabet stickers, a 10 sheet pack of letter labels and a 20 year date stamp - all for under $2 each. I didn't understand why people dated anything but I realized now - especially with anything that requires practice - it's good to date them so that you can look back and see how you've improved. You can write them ,but sometimes you forget and sometimes there is just not the appropriate place to write it in. Date stamp - the ink will reflect and show - and it was $2, I wasn't crying if I forget to use it or lose it.

Anyway. This is how it's done.

You cover a page with some colour - it could even be,a beautiful picture from a magazine stuck on to a page. In my case, I used a page in my planner(where I try out everything , plan , doodle -its really my "everything" book) that I had tried out some Crayola watercolour pencils I had around and it wasn't bad....but I never knew what to do with that page.  This was going to work out perfectly; and I painstakingly stickered my mantra/motto/ of a quote. This took 8 sheets of labels, if it had taken 8 sheets of stickers (what I was originally going to get) which can ring up $2+ per sheet, I may have cried.

Once you're all stickered up, you cover cover up with either a dark or light colour.

I found that a dark cover up works best if your picture /background is pale and visa versa.

Any paint will do, but I found that acrylic or oil paint does the best job in coverage as it is denser. Even a dollar store acrylic will do better than watercolours or craft paint (to my surprise) as used here. I tried here water color then craft paint on one page then covered the whole bit in acrylic paint.

Once the paint is dry...the fun of peeeeeling the stickers off to reveal the colour underneath begins.

Ta da ~

ISN'T THIS AWESOME?!

And awesome point about date stamp - I couldn't see the ink from stamp all that well so I stamped on a piece of post it note and stuck it on in the corner and it fits in with everything PERFECTLY.

I was so happy about how easy this was, less messy it was and turned into a lingering issue at the back of my head into an instant favourite spread. So I had to try it again in my journal.
This time I used a page that I had covered with some left over paint - incredibly bright orange paint from the dollar store that I love, but rarely had use for and was glad to be out of it but still couldn't waste.
You think your eye hurts now? Just you wait.


I covered this  spread with the foam stickers. I learned couple of things from this exercise.
1. If you have a darker tone and a lighter colour over it (like I have ) its a good idea to go over that dark area with another bright colour gesso, especially if you plan to use black or dark over colour.
2. Foam stickers are not ideal for this project as leaves residue and stretches out of shape :(
3. Don't use contrasting colors of stickers, it will give you a headache.

Cover in color. I ran out of black paint at some point.
So I just used whatever other dark tones I had - browns, blues...whatever. Then peeel.

ta da~~~~
I love the contrast in this piece. It's so in your face, just like the message.

 Remember that lesson about the foam stickers leaving residue?
Here you are. These suckers are tricky to peel because it IS made of a thin, stretchy piece of foam and it does not want to come off. Even just to reposition the stickers it lost a lot of shape which was not great but not horrible.

As well, because it is soft in material it also allowed for a lot of paint to seep through which was definitely a minus but it gave the letters some character so I guess it's okay.

When trying to peel these suckers off, I found that it's somewhat but not really easier - to take a heat gun or blow dryer to warm up the adhesive before attempting to peel.

I wasn't sure if this was a good idea but I really had to try it out and foam stickers were the only ones that came in the size I thought I wanted (which turned out tad to big in the end) but hey, I had to try it right? I am so glad I did.


Hope you liked,

Love always,
Shines

Great Expectations

The pressure one puts on oneself is second to none.
I don't know why we grow up to expect so much of ourselves? Then we beat ourselves for it when really nobody else but ourselves set us up for fail, and the impossible goal.

I spent so much of my life planning out every bit of my life.
I remember having short term, interim and long term goals and I had a clear vision of the things I was going to have achieved by the time I reached a certain age and when that didn't pan out I was devastated. But because I am bull-headed and stubborn, I tried again and again only to fall flat on my face and reach the lowest of the lows. Being from a family of overachievers , this was really a hard pill to swallow.

Recently, chatting with a friend over glasses of wine and smokes - listening to her wallow and remembering my own bitter sweet memories...I realized if we didn't set such high goals and expectations of ourselves, we may not only be happier but more successful.

Its a common storyline -people who became a great success, they really were not thinking of becoming successful in their chosen, they just wanted to do what they loved and be happy in their lives.

Not saying that we need to be all laid back and flow with the wind- but we need to loosen up on the expectations a little bit....maybe it will lessen the heartbreak.

This spread was created in the natural light and dark (I had power outage on Friday the 13th - in the slideshow you can see one photo by candle light which was quite nice).

I covered the page with paper napkins... painted it brown with some splatters of white.
While that was drying, I drew the girl and heart on the glued pages of my 1st art journal (which didn't pan out- but I love the thick pages in them and use them) painted them with dollar store acrylic paint. In the case of the girl I did some prisma colour penciling as well...The tear is in Sharpie believe it or not!
I  then tore the heart apart and stuck'em with some dollar store white glue.
Stenciled some words with dollarbin stamps from Michael's (I'm such a dollar girl lol).
Here is a picture of the final:

here is a slideshow of the process:

Book 1, signature 1 - slide show

Argh...

I have never felt so technically challenged....maybe that is the wrong word.
I have been trying to create a journal flip of my Copic catalog book - which turned out to be much more challenging then I thought. First, my camera had some feature on it that shuts it off if it deems nothing worth filming was happening (like really, who the heck is it to judge THAT!? just film dammit). Then when I watched it , it was not only super long but totally not what I wanted to share. After trying out many vices and many...tapings, I just got so FRUSTRATED that I gave up on it entirely for weeks (or what seems like weeks). After lots of ice cream and smoothies, I calmed down and realized I still wanted to share what I'd done because I am so darn proud of it and happy with the outcome, I resolved to the slideshows.
Hopefully, soon I will have all this sorted and have a proper video for the part 2 section.

I have to extend a great big thank you to 2 very special people who's Youtube channel I watch with my lids peeled for new videos and when I have the chance to, read their blog post; Jennibellie and Vicky P.

I have NO idea when I came across Jennibellie- it's been a couple of years now -what I do remember is watching all 40 of her tutorial videos in one sitting. It was so nice to know that someone else also thought that art can be created using what you have lying around and who firmly believed in repurposing and had a larger stash of STUFF that she was going to use to MAKE STUFF.
I must confess I made a couple of albums and bound some books  during that time of tutorial binging, although I haven't a clue what to do with them- or where they are right now.

ANYWAY.
There was a time and a place for everything and , I guess that just wasn't my time to start being artsy; but, it was a great thing to have binged on tutorials because, when I was ready, I knew exactly where to go to for an awesome tutorial on making journals with boxes and such. She really makes EVERYTHING she possibly could, which is fabulous resource for me, because I like to make everything if I can :D

But, I wasn't really convinced that I could do what they did - they being, these incredible people who just seem to poop out an idea LIVE on camera without any hesitation and with all sorts of supplies I didn't know existed. I wanted to make pretty spreads and stuff but I didn't have all the fancy tools to die-cut or blend or emboss; quite frankly, I wasn't sure if I was ready to make that kind of investment and buy these things yet.

However, I guess because it was my time to finally be artsy, I did make a couple of spreads before I was completely stuck. I am very happy with them - they incorporated the beautiful illustrations people did with Copic Markers into my journal and I was happy with the outcome, even if the camera kept failing to record.
But I really was just not sure if I can squeeze out an idea for a spread every time; then I bumped into this video , recommended by Youtube, of Vicky making her  Life video. She seems to have so much fun and it was one which used the least amount of tools, and I seemed to have some of them and I wanted to see if I can indeed, make a similar spread using only what I have. And I did! obviously, hers look so much better but, I'm surprised at how mine came out.

Shortly after, I made another spread which was based on I don't know who - I have NO idea where I saw it but I felt like the spread to do that day (And I really just wanted to keep the momentum going), and really wanted to see if I can get in the habit of doing this, or enjoy doing this...and honestly, it was pretty fun trying to figure out how I can make what I see without having to buy anything, but just with what I have... :) I made this one from this example I took a picture of with my then super outdated slider phone :P

I guess that is when I more or less became sold on the idea that I CAN  make spreads without a ton of supplies- with a little imagination you can use whatever you have on hand and make your very own masterpiece....what every one of these people have been saying, is really true :D
Here is a slideshow proving that (hopefully I will figure out how to get fancy on these soon, or try recording again). Hope you enjoy,

Love Always,
Shines.

Inner peace

ARRRRGH

There are times I find myself sounding like Shi-fu from Kung-Fu Panda constantly repeating,
Ommmmmm...innner peeaaace... innnner, inner peeeeeeeeeeeeeeace...!

which inevitably gets me more irritated as I can't seem to get my mind clear , focused and regain that cool, calm stillness that was CLEARLY there not too long ago and now cannot be found.
I find myself in this circumstance most often when I am doing to duties of a good friend/coworker/new friend at a party/bar role and lending my sympathetic ear only to find that the person talking to me is happy to simply WALLOW and really doesn't care to fix the problem, or have a conversation even. They just want someone standing there to talk at so that they don't feel/seem all that insane talking to themselves. And because they are wallowing over a magnified nothing, they can't find anything to be grateful for even if they were one of the luckiest people I've come across.

Truly, I enjoy being there for my friends and lending an ear or two , or three to help vent out some steam over some sort of beverage because we all need that sometimes. I'm even willing to wallow with you and cry it out and throw things together if need be; but don't bring back the horse from the dead just so that you can beat at it a little more and don't lose reason altogether?

This piece was inspired by an acquaintance/friend I've only been hanging out with for a few months. She was super lonely and was having a lot of confidence problems because guys were just not that interested and she had too much pride to let them go and accept that he may have not been the one. Months of "how dare he"s and plotting schemes to make the guys feel horrible and regain their interests so she can reject them.
Never you mind that you're working a minimum wage job but can afford to live in a condo and party daily because your devote family would not let the youngest on the street or go without something she wants, including your rich and protective brother. First world problems, let me tell you!

Either way, she was invading my mind and I couldn't get a string of productivity out even if the world depended on it. So I decided to play in my art journal and let my emotions rule over the pages.

I glued on some bright red tissue paper left over from I don't know what, using...regular dollar store white glue to get some folds to add texture. The I took some paint out (again, from the dollar store) and just painted the thing black. Then brown. The I splattered them using the brush - which turned out to be super therapeutic and there were layers and layers of that until i was done.


As I was starting to feel better, I wanted to do make something on this paper. I am really thrilled about this page because it finally allowed me to use a magazine cut out I've been holding on to for EVER. it's a beautiful vector art and I thought she was fitting to demonstrate inner peace.
I Outlined her with this "PUFFY PAINT" (guess where I got it? the Dollar store) to outline her and accentuate her and smudged Glitter Glue all over her body (that's right, from the dollar store -trend?).

I cut a piece of paper and painted it bright yellow - regular printer paper - and painted the quote on.

It's such a great quote. Truth be told I am sure I drove a few of my friends insane with my wallowing and disturbed their inner peace; but, what can you do but be a friend? Its tricky to learn to be sympathetic but not get so emotionally invested that you lose your balance and ability to do what YOU need to do.
There will also be the cases when behaviours of people you don't care to acquaint yourself with disturbs your inner peace...because it affects you in some way.

Conclusion: art is so much more therapeutic and effective than meditation (for me anyway).

Hope you liked <3

Love always,
Shines

Listen

OOOOH MYYYYY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH.

I love this piece. 
I love modelling paste.

This piece took me waaay longer than I expected it to take and was sooo much easier to put together than I thought it was going to be, which makes it a pleasant surprise and a great reminder that I really should stop worrying about things too much as they will come together as it should. It was worth every worry though, and is my current favourite spread.

This started with my trying out modelling paste and getting rid of itty bitty left over paints in shades of blue.
I painted the spread without any intentions to  make anything but just to use up this dollops of paint left in tubes, taking up room and figured something will come of it one day. *groan*

Anyhoo,

This really was fun. I was determined to use and try out all the little stencils and material I kept buying but was too chicken to try out and I thought well. Gotta do it one day; and did pop open my light modelling paste and spread it over a stencil...and it was GLORIOUS. They were the most PERFECT little dots ever.
When it was dried I tried some more on a Damask pattern I love and it was even better. Couple of days later when it was fully dried I painted it with some watery acrylic paint and it was just gorgeous.

I still didn't know what to do with this. I didn't have a sentiment in mind or anything and I wasn't sure I was going to do anything to it in fear of ruining it because it was just so perfect and it was not going to get better.

Then I came across this quote which was just perfect. It pulled what I was learning the past 2 weeks and put in a succinct sentence.  I feel that this is probably the truest thing ever and most frequently forgotten.
I firmly believe that humans are incredible beings with great powers - the power of the mind is second to none - but we forget what miracles we are caught in the rush of the day. We forget, that we are wiser than we believe because of all those around us telling us that we are not.

I drew the girl on a piece of thick card stock that used to be a certificate of appreciation for some volunteer work I did and gave her some colour with acrylics and pencil crayons. Found the prettiest eye I could find in the stash of magazine clippings. The glow is actually a painted tissue paper -2 layers of watercolors... To much surprise this gives the tissue paper heavier matted texture which is quite nice.

And all that glitter? Dollar store glitter glue - that is an amazing invention - probably by someone who uses glitter a lot and wanted to streamline the process. Or a very keen observer. ANYWAY.
Here is a quick slideshow of the spread:

And a quick photo of course:

EEk.
You can't really see the quote:

" At the center of your being you have the answer. You know who you are and you know what you want. You just need to listen. The quieter you become the more you can hear."

Hope you like,

Love always,
Shines

Bent

Well.
You know that song by Pink, Just Give me a Reason?
When I first heard this song, I didn't really listen to the lyrics but I heard the chorus and it moved me. I thought it was another song about a girl who's heart was broken.
When I REALLY heard the song for the first time and watched the music video I cried.
It echoed what my heart couldn't express....and of course, I had to make this moment - that it happened and I am in admission of it - they do say that the first step to recovery  IS, admission.


I wasn't really sure how this would turn out.
I played with some paint and light modelling paste(which is just the most fantastic thing EVER, I love it).
I didn't realize this but water on modelling paste will cause the paste to desolve and lose its shape...which was cause for panic at the time but it grew on me and added a nice incomplete effect.

I wanted to go for some sort of...well, I don't know what...I think I was more interested to try out different materials. The heart is actually the LCBO paper bag with layers of acrylic paint. I thought if I wrinkled it after, it would give some texture - it didn't really but I like it.

Hope you like,

Love always.
Shines.

Dance in the rain

I love hand-lettering.
I have great penmanship, but I admire those who can take ordinary,good "penmanship" and turn it into thought/emotion provoking works of art.I haven't the patience to learn such art but I try to show my appreciation for it whenever I can, like my little Moleskine book o'Doodles and in spreads like this one.

I am sure we've all been handed our fair share of lemons in life.
When it rains, it pours...you know it, felt and but lived through it and gave yourself a good pat on the back for making it through another pail of lemons with gritted teeth, making various flavours of lemonade.
At least that was me.
Now I think that its not just what you do that matters in these dire situations...its also your attitude.
If you keep going through life with the survival mentality you miss all the little joys along the way because you're always thinking what's next? Instead, if you waltz through it - with the attitude that you will try to enjoy even this sack of nutjobs, it doesn't seem as bad.

I had been wondering about the imagery for this quote for quite some time - my technical ability wasn't going to be able to portray what I needed . I tried to not think about it (but I couldn't help it cuz it was THE quote I wanted to use as this was the one that summed up the week's "enlightenment") too too much. I had this weird idea that, what I need will be taken care of when I need it.

Of course, weekend rolls around and I'm starting to feel a little more panicky about this.
Then I saw a newspaper left on the bus - Cartoon section, my favourite - and my eyes just about popped right out when I saw Mutts -which is my favourite cartoon strip and it was EXACTLY what I needed.

NOT saying that you should go through life with the attitude and expectation that all you need will be taken care of, but just to not over-worry about everything because as we all know, it almost always works out as it should.

Love always,
Shines

Let go

A confession: I have a hard time letting people go.

Even when I realized that it was a problem, I couldn't help myself. I believe people are good inside(don't they say we're made in the likeness of The Creator? and I've never heard of an evil Creator) and I hung on to the good that I saw in these people waiting for it to come up to the surface like mine did, but it didn't happen.

Once I even took dramatic measures and cut people out of my life that were simply sucking the vitality out of me( I call them energy vampires lol); and I have a LOT of energy yo spare, so for me to say that  it holds some weight- in retrospect I don't know how I survived them - and simply carved them out of my life. It was easier to do then I thought because they simply didn't care to keep in touch if there was nothing being given.

Until recently I had been cautious and fortunate enough to acquire a handful of great friends who not only inspire but encourage my being. I became so euphoric on this positive energy that I didn't practice caution and gave myself away to a rather deadly "vampire" who affected me financially, emotionally and of course, physically.

Apparently this was a bad seed but I was so happy that my friends couldn't find a way to tell me -but the cosmos had NO problem doing so. First, I got bitten by my otherwise uber affectionate, timid yet outgoing black cat , so hard that it drew blood as if to say "wake up" and the next 12 hours came filled with shock filled series of events and ended with me bumping into THIS quote 4 times during that time. I don't consider myself as a particularly religious or a spiritual being but I do heed to the signs that click together, and to my gut feeling  because they have never lied to me.

Once again I am reminded to keep my guard on and keep an arms length away until I can be certain that they can be trusted; to realize that sometimes, its not giving up but letting go.

The friendship/relationship you thought existed was only real in your mind and the reality is much different; and you must do all you can to protect yourself by not giving yourself away, or at least, find the strength LET GO and move on as soon as you realize the truth- and remember that you're not giving up, you're  letting go.

IT HURTS and your heart bleeds and pours out of everywhere; it's hard even when you have carefully kept your distance - or tried to - to let go of something that was so dear is hard.

I believe that life throws lemons for you to learn a lesson from ,maybe in different situations until you LEARNED the lesson; I was CERTAIN that I had learned it the last time but I guess I was just lying to myself; the heart does not learn well and its too stubborn to listen to the brain....

This was done recently in my first art journal that I had thought I'd lost - its quite serendipitous how all these things just HAPPENED - its such a painful page for me, because it reminds me of the pain I was in when I made it and the heart never really forgets....and it aches at the slightest reminder...

Anyway.
Sorry to be such a sap.

Love always,
Shyni