G'on, it's alright to shed a few tears

Sometimes life doesn't hand you lemons- they hand you rotten lemons that you can't even make lemonade with and the very strong box deep inside you that contained all the bad emotions (so that they don't get in the way of making lemonade) burst out of the box and leaks out of your tear ducks like a waterfall.
No matter what you do at this point, the tears will fall - and your heart is bleeding.
For some, crying is a shameful activity - but I always found it to be therapeutic.
I don't feel like I've won a million dollars or that the sun is suddenly going to shine of of my bum, but I do feel like a good load has been lifted of my chest and there is some room there, allowing for clarity of thought, which usually leads to solutions or, at least the power to move on.
Here are some quotes I love about tears; I like to read them whenever I feel like crying (which seems to be often these days) to remind myself of the benefits of crying. I know what they are but some times, you need to see them physically not just know it in your head.
Done on 3.5 x 5.5 modified Moleskine weekly planner.

Sharpie doodles in Moleskine #1

These are some drawings I did in my 3x5" Moleskine weekly planner after discovering that I doodle in it more than I plan :S

On a rainy day without an umbrella I was stuck at a coffee shop waiting for the rain to stop. I had nothing but this planner I didn't plan in, and a couple of sharpies and a pencil.
To burn some time, I just started doodling, and ended up with this.

I'm told, this isn't really doodling because it's not entirely spontaneous;for the sake of this post I am going to call it wrongfully "doodling."

I  found that I enjoyed doodling although it was never really my thing; I was always a serious artist, you know, that only creates work that conveyed deep meaning and never anything FUN.

Whatever it is,  I found this so relaxing, so enjoyable - and this one piece was more than I'd written in the darn thing, so I thought I'd turn the book into a doodle book instead.

To cover up the lines and some writings I had put down in an attempt to encourage myself to use the thing,  I put a thin layer of gesso then painted over with gouche or acrylic or whatever I had on hand- and doodled at a cafe or at home with a nice cuppa tea/caffeinated bevy and a box of short-breads XD  Hope you like!

Glow worm

 This is one of my favourite phrases.
Whenever I am feeling a little blah, this little phrase/quote/whatever always manages to bring a smile to my face. It's not as organized as I envisioned which makes it hard to read, but  it but it says:

"I wish I was a glow worm. How can you be glum when the sun shines out of your bum?"

I dunno...I can't.

 

Girls

I watched "A Little Princess" and it is true; every little girl is a princess - even when the child grows into old age - to any parent their child is and always will be, a little royalty.

Favourite Things

  









This is my mind on a regular day. things that inspire, things I love and things that make me happy.

"Granted"

A lesson we should all learn....it's not easy for some to not be taken for granted - and it's hard for some to resist taking others for granted.

Hair

First ever attempt at self portrait... looking at it now, it reminds me of the light, rosy and warm feeling that you get (Sometimes dramatic too) when warm/cool gentle breeze sweeps through your hair...

Are you willing to become talented?

Most of us grow up being told that we can be anything we want - until you tell'em you want to be an artist. When that happens, one of two things seems to happen: your family and friends provide unwavering support and celebrate your big day with you when you finally make it, giving you larges pats on the back saying they've always known you could do it.

Or you're discouraged to pursue it because there is no money or you don't have enough talent and they certainly want you to just have a easy, happy life. Upon hearing this, some will still pursue the dream but most will turn away; a good chunk of those who turn their backs however, seem to come back to pursuing the dream after a long detour, all burnt out and jaded by life, but finally with a spine to say I want to at least try.

I am part of the latter group that decided finally to pursue what I enjoyed  - and there is more fear and doubt then there is excitement. I mean, if I didn't have "enough talent" when I was drawing frantically, will I have more now that I haven't created a single piece of art for over a decade? How will I compete with all those whose dreams were nurtured, fresh out of school with all they need to jump in and start working?  Should I even bother to pursue this as a career or just put it aside as a hobby?Do I even have any talent left?

What is this talent ANYWAY?
How does everyone else know whether I have it or not? Is it really an elusive, special quality or trait that allows me to achieve exceptionally with little effort? Why don't I have it?
My mind was filled with so much doubt - and as always I turned to the internet for some answers.

What I found was a plethora of advice, tutorials and articles about how to become an artist without going to school - and being successful at it. They all seem to say the same thing and one  article seem to summarize it beautifully - it was written by a successful illustrator named Brenda Hoddinott, about what talent really is. The many voices of internet confirmed what a very small voice in my head was always saying to me, but I diligently ignored. It is this:


"Talent is the acknowledgement that you possess the interest and the motivation to become exceptional in a specific area."

It is not something that some of us are lucky enough to have been born with that allows achievement of exceptional things - it's the commitment and dedication that you make to yourself, to put in the time and effort required to become amazing in something through practice.

Granted, there are some people who are born with uncanny brain power or some extraordinary ability - but often, child prodigies and people with "gifts" experience fame and/or success all too soon and forget that work is required to maintain that, inevitably letting their gifts go to waste. Talent, like anything with life - needs to be nurtured and nourished, in order to bloom in its full glory.


Of course, my problem is that I want to get to step 255 without going through 1- 254. The workload up ahead seems so daunting and huge and feels like I'll never get through it. It's frustrating to look at while moving a tiny pebble at a time out of the way and feels like I will never make it. I can't seem to remember anything I learned or there is not enough time, or..or...there are just so many excuses.


However, success stories come from those without any formal training, but were driven by passion for something and self-taught all they knew. From those who had the patience and perseverance to put in the effort and time to become exceptional in their craft. There is no other way - you must get through the mountain of work first, to get yourself some talent and be exceptional.

So I have now acknowledged, finally, that I have the interest and some motivation to follow my heart and become a creative being; I hope this post serves as a reminder to this commitment I made, especially during hard times when all seem futile.Wish me luck.